I am deeply worried about my little girl, who is turning more and more vuluptuous as the days go by. This weekend, she will be 14, which is dangerously close to 15, leading on to 16, a drivers license, and as I've described before, the sudden appearance of pimple-faced monkey boys at our door, suffering from what her Uncle Kerry refers to as 'Dain Bramage.'
When they do come over, I will appear at the door, dressed as Mr Blonde from Reservoir Dogs, and lead them out to the garage to show them my home-made neutering machine that "requires no anesthetic..."
The one thing I'm not worried about is her ability to pull money out of me, Kani, and her grandparents with a magical skill-she should be performing in Vegas.
Incidently, two cookies with icing now cost $5 at the Mall-just ask Hannah.
2 comments:
You need a plaque above the door that reads "I love the smell of napalm in the morning!"
Are you a grocery clerk? An assassin of my daughter's purity?
You're neither...you're a pimple-faced monkey boy, here to get neutered...
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