Obama Bowls Perfect Game for Special Olympics

U.S. President and talk show dancer Barack Obama offended about a zillion Special Olympics supporters on Thursday night by cracking on Jay Leno's Tonight Show that his efforts at bowling are "like the Special Olympics." Since Thursday's gaffe, the White House has been in emergency mode, in an effort to squelch this public relations disaster-in-the-making, and have gone so far as to invite Special Olympians to the White House to engage in 'spirited games of dodgeball' with the President.

Also, in a further effort to express his 'true sorrow' over making this embarrassing public error, the President has invited actor Chris Burke, best known for his character Charles 'Corky' Thatcher on the hit TV show Life Goes On, and also a Down Syndrome sufferer, to sit in on key cabinet meetings over the course of Obama's term in office. Although a few eyebrows in Washington have been raised over this rather unprecedented public relations gesture, and a few cabinet members appear to be a little jealous of the 'special' attention Burke is getting, most Democrats seem at ease with the move, Nancy Pelosi stating "I guess it couldn't hurt anything..."

However, certain other constituents are left asking the obvious question on everyone's mind: Why couldn't the President have chosen a Jewish actor with Down Syndrome to sit in on key cabinet meetings over the breadth of his administration? When reached at her California headquarters, Senator Diane Feinstein gave this terse take on the situation: "A&W."

"The rootbeer?" asked a reporter.

"No," she sniffed, "Always Waspy."